For speaking nerves, some people suggest that you picture your audience in their underwear. That’s a bad idea if you want to be an effective speaker.

When you try to get confidence by visualizing your listeners undressed, you create an uneven power dynamic. Now you’re feeling more powerful as the dressed one.

Here’s why that’s bad news: People defend against an assertion of power. Nobody wants to feel one-down. And they will pick up on that vibe from you. They’re subconsciously guarded now and can’t openly receive what you have to say.

To communicate effectively, choose a different way to be relaxed when you speak so that you can connect to your listeners without a power struggle. EFT is the fastest way I know of to get rid of that tension so it doesn’t come back. For EFT coaching to get comfortable speaking — just contact me.

What do you think? Let us know by leaving a comment below.

You may think that what you say to your listeners is what counts when you’re speaking. But that’s only part of the story. Nonverbal communication accounts for a whopping 93% of the message you convey. And your appearance plays a big part in that.

So you need to look good for your listeners. Your clothing, hair, makeup (or not), and accessories influence your audience in ways that might surprise you. This isn’t just old school “Dress for Success” stuff. This is real and it affects your financial bottom line in your business.

I know – in these times, people want the truth. There’s a big emphasis on authenticity, on being real, and being “one of the people.” In an attempt to be down-to-earth, some business people make no attempt to dress up when they speak. If this is you, you’re missing the boat. And quite possibly losing business!

Research shows that people assign higher credibility and higher trustworthiness to people they consider to be appropriately dressed. When you’re dressed better, you are nonverbally elevating your leadership status and authority level for your listener. In plain English, they think you know what you’re doing and that you must have something worth buying!

Where This Counts

Your appearance is marketing for you wherever you speak about your business. It’s not just restricted to formal presentations. You want to look good in these settings, too:

• networking events
• client interactions
• meetings with colleagues
• videos (even your 1-minute Flip Cam shots!)
• classes and events you attend

More Benefits For You

Taking real care with your appearance has some other benefits, too. Here are four more reasons to look your best when you’re speaking in your business:

1. It raises your confidence level. When you look your best you feel more sure of yourself.
2. It helps you relax and eliminates a potential source of anxiety – feeling self-conscious about your appearance.
3. It improves your body language (another part of nonverbal communication). When you’re more relaxed and confident you move differently. And your listener notices. Your posture is more open and engaging. You appear more certain about your topic or product.
4. It builds rapport with your audience. On a subconscious level they feel more respected because you’ve taken the time and care to want to make a good impression.

Bonus Tip

Believe it or not, dressing up for work on the phone makes a big difference in how you come across –because it affects your confidence and your posture in positive ways. So get out of your sweats and get cute for your next teleseminar!

Come back and tell us how this made a difference for you. And if I can help you with building your speaking confidence, contact me and we’ll discuss options for moving you forward.

Many women are uncomfortable promoting themselves – in writing, and even more in speaking. In business, this is a problem. You need to be able to showcase your skills and talents. People want to know why they should do business with you.

Here are some ways to make this easier for yourself:

Ask Yourself Questions

Set aside any self-blame or criticism about your discomfort. Then gently ask yourself some questions to see what the emotions really are. Just try to be open to any info you get without judgment – it’s just information! Ask yourself:

1. If I did toot my own horn, what would I be afraid of? Really listen for illogical or childish answers – remember this is right-brain stuff and not logical. Those fears and belief may go back a long ways.
2. What’s the benefit to staying quiet and in the background? There’s some benefit or you wouldn’t be doing it. Right? Some aspect of you think its gonna be safer to NOT toot your own horn.

Getting The Answers

You can get the answers for yourself in various ways. Try one or more of the following:

• Journal about the question.
• Write the question with your dominant hand and the answer with your non-dominant hand. It may be hard to read, but you’ll be amazed at what comes out on the paper!
• Type the answer with your eyes closed. You’ll access more subconscious information this way.
• Zero in on where you feel it in your body and ask that body part what it has to tell you.

What To Do With This Info

Many times realizing what’s going on will be enough to let the old story go. That old belief that it’s not good to promote yourself.

Then start practicing speaking up about yourself. And congratulate yourself every step of the way. Keep those positive emotions engaged, and that will help you the next time an opportunity arises to toot your horn.

And if you need some outside help, I offer coaching with a rapid change technique that permanently releases those old inner blocks to speaking up. Just contact me.